


Christmas Dinner

by lover_of_all_awesome_things



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: Voyager, star trek- all media types
Genre: Doctor Phlox - Freeform, Garek - Freeform, Julian Bashir - Freeform, Seven of Nine - Freeform, Tuvok - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 12:48:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2851331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lover_of_all_awesome_things/pseuds/lover_of_all_awesome_things
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically its a Xmas fic where everyone in all the star trek series' have a Xmas dinner. And there will be a surprise character at the end who is not tagged :)<br/>Ok. AO3 Isn't liking me so not every character is tagged. I'll try again later but I want to post it today so.... Yeah.... Enjoy!!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas Dinner

**Author's Note:**

> This is not really based on a season of each and I know that many of the characters lived in different times and places but just forget about that! This is simply a star trek Christmas Dinner. Please enjoy and have yourself a merry Christmas!!!!

"Well I hope you all like it! I tried so many different recipes and courses and I think I finally found a winner!" Neelix said, stepping out of the kitchen. The voyager crew all looked at each other as they had been the test subjects for Neelix's 'experiments.' Everyone else had heard stories so they were also nervous. "For the first course I have prepared something called mozza sticks. I'm not sure what they are but they sure are good! The second course is mashed leola root with carrot gravy. The third course is a turkey like animal from Epsilon four that has four heads and tastes like fish. The fourth course is especially for you Captain," Five heads looked up, Neelix realized that there was more than one captain so he corrected himself, "Captain Janeway that is, and it is -drum roll please- coffee cake! Not cake that doesn't actually taste like anything but like actual coffee!" He clapped his hands together with pride and looked expectantly at everyone.   
"Yeah Neelix! Sounds great!" Tom Paris cheered while beside him Harry Kim looked at him like he had gone insane, which he voiced- quietly as not to offend Neelix-to Tom. Tom replied with, "I'm not insane, I'll get the Doctor to pretend that there is a medical emergency and I'm needed."  
The Doctor, sitting across from the two men said, "I'll do no such thing! Besides who needs a nurse when I have other more experienced and reliable Doctors with me?" He gestured to the people sitting on either side of him, Doctor Leonard McCoy and Doctor Phlox.  
"Doctor," Tom replied, not missing that hidden insult, "You wound me!"  
"If that is so then you know where to go, sickbay is always open." The Doctor replied in his insufferable tone.   
"Arg, well there is always Tuvok." Tom said motioning to the man further down the table and catching his attention.  
"Mr. Paris, whatever you are planning- and I have no doubt that you are- leave me out of it. I have not yet forgiven you for altering my holodeck programs." Tuvok replied in his aloft and annoying voice.  
Tom slumped back in his chair as Harry said to him cheerfully, "Where is your Christmas spirit?"  
"Its with my proper Christmas dinner." Tom replied dejectedly, fingering his mozza sticks. "I mean really, mozza sticks for Christmas dinner?!"  
"Don't forget the coffee flavored cake!" Harry added it.  
"Don't remind me." 

 

"Come on Seven! Its Christmas dinner!" Neelix pleaded.   
"Nutritional supplement 54 is labeled 'for holidays' I could consume that, still have the experience of eating something different for a celebratory occasion and it is 6.7 times more nutritious than your selected menu for tonight." Seven stated.  
"Well, yes but that's no fun!" Neelix replied.  
"Fun?" Seven asked quizzically, "I did not realize that enjoyment was a requirement when eating food."  
"Its not! Well it is but... Captain Janeway!" Neelix said giving up.   
"Yes?" Captain Janeway asked from the head of the table.   
"Explain to Seven why she needs to eat this!"   
"Seven just eat it." Captain Janeway said, eager to get back to her conversation with the rest of the captains in attendance.  
"Is that an order Captain?"  
"Does it have to be?"   
Seven started to pick at her mozza sticks.

 

"Why is he serving free food?" Quark asked suspiciously.   
"Only you would question it Quark." Doctor Julian Bashir replied laughing.  
"I believe it has something to do with human generosity." Garek said thoughtfully.   
"Where's the profit in generosity?" Quark asked. Julian had put his head in his heads.   
"Is everything alright Doctor?" Garek inquired.  
"Yes, no, its just that, how can you question generosity?" The last question was directed to Quark.  
"Very easily. If the Ferengi were generous, we would be broke. It's a wonder humans got this far." Quark replied nonchalantly. "Like rule 285 of the rules of acquisition No good deed ever goes unpunished."  
"I give up. Some things can't be change. A bird can't learn temporal physics and a Ferengi can't be taught to be generous." Julian said as he ate the mashed leola root and carrot gravy while he tried not to gag.

 

"And then I said, I'm a doctor, not a bookkeeper!" Doctor Leonard McCoy said.  
"I can relate. I often have to say that I'm a doctor, not a night light!" The Doctor replied.  
"Well my crew respects me." Doctor Beverly Crusher said rather smugly.  
"Mine does to! Though I think that's just because they don't like my tarkalian dung beetles or my other animals." Doctor Phlox scarfed down his mashed leola root.   
"You are so lucky! Not a day goes by when I don't have to remind someone of the fact that I am a doctor! Someone who worked damn hard to get where he is! Not some dumb ass who just drifted through Starfleet Academy!" Leonard cried.  
"At least you're human and get treated as an equal! For my first year someone had to turn me off and if they forgot to I would just sit around doing nothing until someone remembered!" The Doctor replied.  
"Well I think humans are a rather fascinating species. I was fortunate that Captain Archer choose me to be his doctor. Being the doctor on Starfleet's flagship is both hard work and rewarding but its very interesting." Doctor Phlox smiled his very big and slightly freaky smile.  
"I cannot agree more, on the flagship thing- not the humans are fascinating- being the CMO of the Enterprise is very prestigious and hard to get but so rewarding." Beverly said.  
"How is the food?" The Doctor asked as he was unable to eat and to change the subject.  
"Terrible." Beverly replied.  
Everyone laughed.

 

"T'Pol, you should really eat it." Commander Charles (Trip) Tucker the third said, shoveling his own turkey like meat into his mouth.  
"It is bad enough that I have to endure the stench of cooked meat, to eat it is far out of the question." Subcommander T'Pol replied.  
"Come on, its good!" Captain Jonathan Archer tried.  
"The taste buds of humans and vulcans are quite different. The idea of eating animal flesh is quite barbaric, we vulcans changed our ways over 1000 years ago." T'Pol argued.  
"Captain? What are we going to do about her?" Trip asked.  
"Not let her dampen the Christmas Spirit." Jonathan replied.  
"That works." Trip shovelled even more meat into his already full mouth and chewed with his mouth open right in front of T'Pol's face.  
T'Pol pulled away and showed- in a Vulcan lack of emotion- absolute disgust and said, "You act like an immature adolescent!"   
Trip and Jon burst out laughing.

 

"I do not understand why everyone is laughing." Commander Data said emotionlessly.  
"Data, everyone is engaged in conversations and sometimes someone just says something funny." Lieutenant Commander Geordi La Forge tried to explain.  
"So having a conversation is humorous." Data surmised.  
"Well not exactly...." Geordi was interrupted by Data.  
"Since you and I are engaged in conversation then one of us should be laughing. You are not so I shall commence." Data started his forced laughed.  
"Data, what are you doing?" Geordi asked.  
Data paused but then resumed his forced laugh, "I am laughing."  
"But why?" Geordi inquired, "I have not said anything funny."  
"So someone has to say something funny for laughing to be required." Data thought aloud.  
"Well sometimes it's something happens or someone does something to make something be funny." Geordi explained.  
"Oh, I understand." Data was silent for a while but then knocked over Geordi's water glass onto his lap and started laughing.  
"Data, that's not funny!" Geordi said wiping the water off his shirt. Data stopped laughing immediately.  
"It is not? I do not understand, my apologies."   
Geordi sighed after soaking up what he could, "It's alright."   
"What's going on?" Ensign Wesley Crusher inquired.  
"I am attempting to teach Data about humour." Geordi answered.  
"Well good luck! You certainly need it." Wesley smiled.  
"Gee, thanks Wes." Geordi's words were dripping with sarcasm.

 

"Spock, try the cake." Captain James T. Kirk said.  
"I have eaten all I need to and do not require any empty calories." Commander Spock replied.  
"But, it's cake!" Jim said again.  
"I realize that but I have no interest in consuming a cake that is flavoured as a highly caffeinated drink." Spock replied unemotionally.  
"But, cake!" Jim tried.  
"No matter how many times you repeat that fact my position on this baking will not change." Spock said.  
"What are you trying to do Jim?" Leonard asked.  
"I'm trying," he glared at Spock, "to get Spock here to eat cake!"   
"Why would you do that? If he doesn't eat it, you can!" Leonard spoke as though it were the most obvious thing in the universe.  
Jim looked at Leonard's cleaned off plate. "Bones, if you want his cake, I'm sure you can have it." Jim said.  
"May I?" Leonard asked Spock.  
"Go ahead." Was his reply.  
"Jackpot!" Leonard scooped the cake into his mouth.

 

"Though it's worth the long hours and hard work, captaining is difficult!" Captain Janeway said grimacing at the terrible attempt of coffee flavored cake.  
"I agree," said Captain Picard, "I was given the highest honor in all of Starfleet, Captaining the flagship- Enterprise however it was not easy."  
"And there always seems to be a war going on! Either its with the Klingons, the Borg, the Xindi, or the dominion there is always someone who doesn't like us. And from the experience of raising a child its damn hard!" Captain Sisko stated with which everyone nodded in agreement.  
"I can't imagine raising a child in such circumstances! I had a dog and that was hard enough!" Captain Archer said.  
"I didn't have a child, or a dog but my crew was my family and my job was to get them home safely, because of that I had to distance myself so I didn't really have anyone." Captain Janeway added.  
"Your crew is your family. If you go on a mission that lasts years they really are your family! And as a captain it is your job to keep them safe. I don't believe anyone realizes that until they become a captain themselves." Captain Kirk said.  
"Agreed, your cre......" Captain Picard was interrupted by a flash.  
"Ah, mon capitaine! Did you miss me?"  
Captain Picard stood up, "Q! What are you doing here?"  
"Why, why would I miss an opportunity to see such a joyous gathering of my favorite people?" With that Q looked at Captain Janeway.  
"Q, why are you here?" Commanders Chakotay and Riker asked at the exact same time.  
"Awh! Now isn't that cute! And am I not allowed to wish you a Merry Christmas?" Q asked sincerely.  
"Fine." Captain Picard said.  
Q snapped his fingers and suddenly everyone in attendance was participating in a group hug. "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night" Q said joyfully.  
"Q!!!!!" Everyone yelled.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it!!!!! And Merry Christmas!!!!!


End file.
